Parody
by wisedomsdaughter
Summary: A parody story ChocolateIsMyDoom and I wrote. Well, she wrote, and I edited. Involving Percabeth reactions, randomness and weirdness! Guaranteed to make you go, Huh?


Zeus looked approvingly at Aphrodite. "This is one of the few times you aren't gossiping about us and talking like an idiot. Or pairing us up randomly."

Aphrodite, blonde hair combed carefully into a ponytail, green eyes sharp, smiled and answered, "No, my lord, I am not an idiot, contrary to popular belief. Being a beautiful sometimes-blonde doesn't mean I'm stupid."

Watching from a wary distance, Ares sighed. Well, he'd lost his long-term on-and-off girlfriend, but there was no rule saying he couldn't stalk her whenever he was free (all the time). One of the perks of being a god: you couldn't get blasted to pieces by your ex-girlfriend.

Zeus turned away from the goddess, who was reapplying her make-up, and smiled at Hera. He kissed her hand, and exclaimed, "Oh, my wife, look! They are normal!"

It was true. Poseidon was sitting in his throne, watching Bessy, in her water bubble, and Hephaestus was looking at his wife with the rarely seen glimmers of love and trust in his eyes.

Zeus couldn't have been happier. This just meant that nobody was kicking him down from the throne, because it was under _his_ reign that all of these firsts had happened; then again, it was under his reign that it had become a _first_, but Zeus tended to look over these petty little problems.

Aphrodite, a smile upon her lips, and a loving glance towards her husband, whom she no longer thought was wimpy, said calmly, as if she were _trying_ to provoke the two immortals, "Poseidon, Athena, I am so glad your children are dating. They look absolutely _adorable_ together! You both should thank me."

Silence.

Zeus sighed. He never should have had those thoughts. He was silly to have thought that it would last (although the King of the Gods was not at all silly, not at all). It was all Aphrodite's fault.

"Oh," said Athena, raising her eyebrows. She shot a dark glance towards Poseidon. "Is that so?"

Poseidon shrugged, ignoring Athena's murderous glare. "I guess so."

Everyone on Olympus tensed on his or her thrones. They had learned, from experience, that it was not a good idea to mess with the war goddess of strategy and knowledge, who had always found a way to get back at her enemies. What was she going to do next?

"Oh, well," Athena said in a forced calmness. "I'll just have to go and kill Perseus, then."

Poseidon smiled a very forced smile. "And I'll just have to drown Annabeth, won't I?"

The two Olympians, leaning forwards in their thrones, shooting daggers from their eyes at each other, one hand on their own respective weapons.

"Your _pitchfork_ was turned into the Devil's pitchfork," Athena shot.

"Well, at least people enjoy the sea," Poseidon snapped. "And I don't have to force someone to eat an olive."

"Your brain is more empty than Aphrodite's!"

"Your face is more mutated than Zeus'!"

Apollo cleared his throat and ran a few fingers over his harp's strings, (that he had magicked out of nowhere).

"_The gods fight on Olympus_

_ They have no idea what to do,_

_ Poseidon and Athena glare lots,_

_ And everyone's freaking out as usual._"

Artemis sighed in defeat; even in the middle of an Athena-Poseidon war, her brother could make a haiku as terrible as that one. Dear gods, even her newest lieutenant could make a better haiku!

Athena and Poseidon looked at each other, and nodded. They were going to settle this like adults.

Hermes held out his hands, one in front of the opposing immortal's face. "Ready? Good. Three, two, one."

Athena and Poseidon were both sweating. Athena's nails dug into her tightly clenched fists, and Poseidon kept wiping his palms on his Bermuda shorts. This would decide whose child would die.

Hermes paused dramatically, and then said:

"Rock, paper, scissors."

Poseidon had rock. Athena had scissors.

"Score one for Poseidon!" Hermes announced.

"Rock, paper, scissors."

Poseidon had paper. Athena had scissors again.

"Score one for Athena! Next round!"

1-1

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

Athena had paper. Poseidon had rock.

1-2 for Athena.

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

Poseidon had scissors. Athena had tried paper again.

2-2

"Final round: rock, paper, scissors!"

Poseidon had paper.

Athena had scissors.

Poseidon gave one long, defeated sigh and slumped back into his seat.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH !" She shrieked, her calm demeanor gone. She jumped on to her throne and danced her happy dance, sticking her tongue out at the other Olympians. "Ah ha, ha ha ha!" She then seemed to notice the other gods' stares.

Athena blushed, and Poseidon sighed, looking beaten. Stupid Paper.

Athena strolled casually to the doors of the throne room, and then vanished in a pool of light.

Dionysus raised his eyebrows. "Well, _that_ was a first."

Percy twirled Riptide in his hand, then struck out against the air, his black hair flopping into his eyes. Often, he stopped to grin stupidly, that grin the one that had earned him his nickname.

Obviously, the reason of his smile was Annabeth. She was Percy's perfect match, his missing puzzle piece, his other half, the water in the sea, the cream in the cheese. Because everyone knows that opposites attract.

She was smart and caring (occasionally), a warrior but a teenage girl who obsessed over the wrong bands, and just so amazing with her suspicious-smelling hair.

Percy had always known how to compliment a girl.

All of a sudden, Percy noticed Malcolm poking Percy's head, and noticed that the son of Athena looked exhausted.

"Percy!"" Malcolm shouted. "Athena's coming to eat you!"

Percy's eyes widened, and he dropped Riptide. "But I don't taste good without barbeque sauce!" He wailed.

'Run!" Malcolm shrieked. "She likes cheese!" Percy ran like Hades.

On his leisurely jog (at least that was the speed he was running in), he spotted Annabeth. She waved at him, smiling in the way only Bob the Builder can, and said, "Hi."

"ATHENA'S COMING TO EAT ME!" Percy screamed. "HELP!" Then he was gone, skidding on the ground and tripping occasionally over his shoelaces.

Annabeth wasn't sure about Percy yet. She wasn't sure she had made the right decision about their relationship, but she knew that it would have happened eventually (if it were up to Percy, it would have been when they were forty nine). Besides, they weren't best friends anymore; they had gone past that stage long ago.

But as she watched his pathetic Run For Life, she couldn't help but feel a surge of laughing gas and worry for her Seaweed Brain. Blinking like a Barbie doll, she followed his path back to...somewhere.

Poseidon accepted the mug of melted Swiss cheese and sat down at the tiny, scratched up, painted orange table. "I just lost our son's life in an intense game or Rock, Paper, Scissors."

Sally shook her head disapprovingly. "You should have told me, you stupid computer! He's my son too! Besides, I am the Rock, Paper, Scissors champion!"

Eyebrows were raised.

"No, seriously!" Sally insisted. "If you don't believe me, you can ask Paul! Talk to him, yes, that's it! You have to go talk to Paul!"

Poseidon groaned and poured the cheese on to the table. He poked the quivering yellow mound and licked his fingers.

Percy just couldn't get a break, could he?

First: Big, world-involving, scary prophecy involving him.

Second: Scary girls whom he couldn't understand ("Does my butt look big?" "YES!" "I hate you!")

Third: Life- threatening goddess who hated him.

As the gray eyed goddess stood in front of Percy's cabin door, he could hear her swearing.

"You can't stay in there forever, son of a computer hard drive!"

"Me no like computer hard drives!"


End file.
